Menagerie Managed
Posted on 03 August 2016
You will find our next stop to be truly thrilling. Karazhan plays proud host to the world’s only privately run arcane zoo, featuring exotic—and dangerous—creatures from all manner of places, times, and dimensions. The Master spared no expense.
Right through this archway, please. Ah, here we are: The Menagerie! I will now allow the Curator to show you a few of our special exhibits while I attend to some matters of importance. Please be nice to the Curator. And please don’t touch anything! There will be ample opportunity for you to make a mess at the celebration later tonight.
Love Machine
Hello. This Curator is programmed for complete Menagerie management. It is this Curator’s duty to ensure the safety and well-being of all creatures within the Menagerie. The Menagerie spans an area greater than the geometric volume of this tower, and contains a constantly variable number of exhibits. Due to a large number of exhibits and extra-dimensional spaces, this Curator employs the services of several less advanced assistants to ensure 100% containment.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your enjoyment? Please repeat your response. Thank you. This Curator will attempt to elevate your level of enjoyment with a tour of the Menagerie. As we tour the Menagerie, please comply with all gallery protocols to ensure that no creatures go free or come to harm. Menagerie Tour Program version 4.7.7 is now online.
It’s Raining Meat
Many creatures in the Menagerie generate values for excitement greatly exceeding zero. Your tour coincides with this large predator’s feeding time. This Curator will now provide it with the large quantity of food it requires. Warning: Please step out of the meat splash zone. Oh, no. You have failed to exit the splash zone. Please allow this Curator to hand you a towel.
You are experiencing elevated blood pressure and adrenaline levels. Diagnosis: Excitement! This Curator is glad you are having a good time!
Le Imp?
This portion of the Menagerie is empty and awaiting new exhibits. We will pass through this gallery into a region with populated exhibits. Please repeat your query? Your query cannot be processed. Error: the Imp you have indicated is not allowed in the Menagerie, therefore it does not exist. The displays are guaranteed to be safe. Please move along. Menagerie Tour Program is shutting down.
Moroes has returned. This Curator will now escort you out of the Menagerie.
Are you satisfied with your tour?
Oh, your tour was cut short? You say the Curator was acting strangely? Well, the Master is clearly too occupied to renew its enchantments right now. I’m quite sure it will be fine, though I do admit that the Menagerie is not to my taste. I’ve often warned the Master against maintaining extra-dimensional spaces and extremely large, voracious creatures. He claims that they’re important to his research and that the Curator has everything totally under control. Hrmph. Under control indeed! I say that Imps, ah, find a way.
Well, we’re all the way up here, so I don’t see the harm in giving you a quick peek at the Spire. It will be a nice treat for you, since party guests will not be allowed to enter it tonight.
I have reminded you to consult your invitations, haven’t I?
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